wellness is the new black: June 2013

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Monday, June 24, 2013

health is a state of mind, body and soul. take the time to really understand that because more often than not this concept is lost. all three are intrinsically linked so if you've been neglecting one aspect of your 'health' (mind, body, soul) try and incorporate a little somethin somethin this week to correct that imbalance!

Friday, June 21, 2013

our own worst frenemy

social media is both a blessing and curse and often the difference lies in the hands of the user. for most of us i would hope we could use these networks to express our creativity and connect with people in a positive way but more often than not people are using posts as a vehicle for beating down on others and unleashing the wrath of the passive aggressive.

now i must admit i have found myself in the position of posting such a message on my instagram. i think it was 'expect the bullshit but don't accept it' when i was going through a friendship 'break up' but after i did it, i instantly felt that sting of regret mixed with an almost compulsive itch to post another! it was madness and also made me look mad and not mad in an angry way but mad in a crazy, deranged and kinda pathetic way.

you see these mean girl status updates, insta-anger-images and meme messages say more about the person posting them than the person they are intended for.

while the internet may create the illusion that there's a cloak around your character, it's actually as visible as picking your nose in the car. WE CAN SEE YOU and it's cringe worthy.

i'm not sure how we can battle the internet's cancerous trolls and passive aggressive posters but it's a social contagion that can go one way or another and maybe if we concentrate on holding ourselves to a higher standard it may begin to inoculate against such insidious online behaviours.

social media should be about building relationships, not tearing them down. if you don't like a photo, post or celebrity then learn to act with grace and simply unfriend, unfollow or ignore. if you have a problem with a 'real-life' friend, acquaintance or work colleague, for gods sake, pull ya socks up and go speak to them. we all don't need to see your dirty laundry and quite frankly the only response you are going to get out of people with these type of posts is one all mighty eye roll. as for the person you are posting about i'm sure it's going to sting but mostly they are just going to pity your passive aggressive patheticness.

surely we are better than this peoples. as ridiculous as this sounds perhaps we should all be made to sign a 'pledge to keep it positive' before we're allowed access online???

before posting that next little nasty maybe you should think and check yoself before you wreck yoself!

RESPECT & LOVE peeps, live by it online & offline xx

Thursday, June 20, 2013

pushing through

posts on w.i.t.n.b have been a little scarce of late as i overstretched myself with my uni / work / life balance. things got hectic. stress got high and time was definitely not on my side, HOWEVER while going through it i managed to take note. cos let's get real, life is never going to be smooth sailing, you are going to experience peak periods or overwhelming experiences that halt your happiness BUT after the dust settles it's how you recover and reevaluate that really counts!

so i asked myself how do i learn from this? what do i need to change?

what leapt out at me was that i needed to cut back on my uni workload. for a year and a half i have battled full time uni while trying to work as much as i could. this came to a head last semester when i had to cut right back on work to get through the semester. this meant income wise i only had the bare essentials covered, my health and social budget suffered and while my health is still in better shape than it's ever been, the improvement i was striving for hasn't quite got there because i let it take a backseat to studying. SO what have i learnt. no money = stress, too much work / study = stress, not seeing friends / family = boredom, anxiety, stress.

AS soon as exams were over i had to reevaluate what is more important to me... fast tracking my degree for swifter career success or living a balanced, healthy, socially rewarding existence in the everyday. i decided on the latter but the former is a very popular choice and i think that's because we are indoctrinated to want more, more, more, NOW. we feel this need to always 'plan' out our future happiness, like the house, job, promotion, marriage, kids, holiday but this can mean we are so caught up in what could be, we dismiss and overlook what actually IS. and IS is where we live baby, the land of plans only exists in our minds. now don't get me wrong having goals is important but being consumed by them is a trap i know i tend to fall into. i become so fixated about the 'goal' that everything that comes before becomes a blur and you know what once you've got whatever it was, it don't always feel as amazing as you think it will. i think this may because with all the sacrifice that is required we have to believe that the outcome is worth it. we build up our expectations way beyond what is possible and lead ourselves into disappointment territory or a momentary high that we have to then come down from.

so instead of feeling like time is against me, i've had to accept, the road to becoming a psychologist is a long one. i am going to be studying for the next four years of my life, so you know what let's enjoy it, by fast tracking i was only going to lose a year of the process so really in the long run is it worth it? i'm thinking not really, it's your everyday that creates your happiness and while i was enjoying what i was doing it was being stifled by the stress i had created for myself.

i've now dropped back to two subjects a semester which means i can work more, will have more money and can take better care of myself. i'm also flirting with extending a bali holiday next year as that place really does encourage the happy in me.

my immediate goals are to up the anti on my yoga practice (this has slipped with essays and exams clouding my brain), introduce a monthly massage into the mix and undertake another juice cleanse. i've also started using nike training clubs fitness app, which i highly recommend, anytime you have a spare 15-30 minutes just get out your iphone and get 'just do it'.

a slightly larger task is to become a successful saver. you see my relationship with money still isn't within the 'healthy' range. while i don't spend what i don't have anymore, i am still very good at spending every last cent i do have. budgeting is not my talent and that's because spending for me is more than numbers, it's emotional. i am an emotional spender it's boredom, excitement, anxiety that tends to get me into trouble. i'm at the stage where i know i have a 'problem' i have made small inroads but it's time to take it further. so i set up two savings accounts, one i can't touch and one i can shift money around if need be... does a topshop sale count? oops sorry, that's the old me typing! and yet also brings me to my next point, i need to learn to fully appreciate what NEED vs WANT means and what purchases provide instant gratification versus a lasting enjoyment (like a $300 dress versus a dinner out with friends), while this is a fashionistas worst nightmare, they say the practice of gratitude can turn what we have into enough so hopefully i can become more zen about this!

more than anything these last few months remind me again and again that it's all about progress not perfection and sometimes i need to take my own advice: happiness is a choice and changing things that lead me down a darker path is up to me...